The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
