im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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