I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
