Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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