I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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