Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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