Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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