you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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