Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
