I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize