I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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