I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
