my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
