Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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