Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
