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I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
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