Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
