ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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