You made me cry and you don't even care
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
