he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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