I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
