Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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