I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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