So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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