it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
