i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
