If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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