but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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