Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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