my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
