Whod you bang
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
