yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
