So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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