***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize