I just cut my nipple shaving
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
