I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
All I want is dick and wine.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
