yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
A bitchslap is in order.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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