i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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