my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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