Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady

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  (202): i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady http://tfl.nu/uziv
  Replies (21) Good night (2013) Bad night (686)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  Wtf?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Use the slutty part of ur brain.

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  (225): Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!! (1-225): Wtf? (225): Use the slutty part of ur brain. http://tfl.nu/qcnm
  Replies (32) Good night (3142) Bad night (674)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.

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  (850): lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita. http://tfl.nu/5n5t
  Replies (35) Good night (4390) Bad night (965)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.

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  (214): My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night. http://tfl.nu/bjzh
  Replies (20) Good night (7031) Bad night (1219)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight

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  (513): stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight http://tfl.nu/lu33
  Replies (9) Good night (5123) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  they just did a mariachi cover of free bird

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  (228): they just did a mariachi cover of free bird http://tfl.nu/opnr
  Replies (21) Good night (5515) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant

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  (404): The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/hmmb
  Replies (8) Good night (885) Bad night (4062)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.

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  (423): It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin. http://tfl.nu/eslz
  Replies (5) Good night (2546) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  strike, motherfucker.

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  (423): You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em. (423): strike, motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/ain2
  Replies (4) Good night (2296) Bad night (705)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.

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  (414): i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now. http://tfl.nu/jexc
  Replies (6) Good night (1303) Bad night (378)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..

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  (620): I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life.. http://tfl.nu/aqyo
  Replies (3) Good night (654) Bad night (382)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.

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  (440): all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers. http://tfl.nu/lyvi
  Replies (2) Good night (887) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.

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  (989): I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway. http://tfl.nu/fnux
  Replies (1) Good night (322) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.

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  (330): Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them. http://tfl.nu/yzp3
  Replies (0) Good night (781) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.

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  (508): I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong. http://tfl.nu/uti0
  Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (284)

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