Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.

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  (802): Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye. http://tfl.nu/qfl2
  Replies (1) Good night (1037) Bad night (618)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"

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  (570): so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses" http://tfl.nu/fgtz
  Replies (13) Good night (4721) Bad night (1078)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.

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  (586): we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path. http://tfl.nu/fhzw
  Replies (17) Good night (1102) Bad night (5220)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"

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  (217): Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet" http://tfl.nu/r96p
  Replies (3) Good night (2306) Bad night (869)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch

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  (613): OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch http://tfl.nu/pswe
  Replies (7) Good night (7026) Bad night (1069)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.

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  (269): Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus. http://tfl.nu/d22v
  Replies (20) Good night (9337) Bad night (1412)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?

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  (217): Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me? http://tfl.nu/r928
  Replies (9) Good night (2796) Bad night (851)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal

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  (224): Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal http://tfl.nu/8wqr
  Replies (2) Good night (2357) Bad night (772)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.

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  (513): Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah. http://tfl.nu/232a
  Replies (16) Good night (662) Bad night (2006)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.

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  (573): He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady. http://tfl.nu/txg0
  Replies (6) Good night (2543) Bad night (580)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.

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  (360): I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/rb31
  Replies (7) Good night (1170) Bad night (621)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.

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  (850): I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test. http://tfl.nu/cted
  Replies (1) Good night (1031) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom

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  (734): Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom http://tfl.nu/vsfc
  Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (234)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  You have a 50 50 chance

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  (615): To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again (1-615): You have a 50 50 chance http://tfl.nu/kr8c
  Replies (4) Good night (471) Bad night (198)
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  (760): View more from California

  People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with

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  (760): People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with http://tfl.nu/de51
  Replies (4) Good night (513) Bad night (204)

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