Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
As shirtless as possible
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!