I'm sorry my penis didn't work
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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