Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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