My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
