Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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