Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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