is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
