I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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