Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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