Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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