People with herpes should wear stickers.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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