the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
