everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
