I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
