dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
