I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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