i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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