First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
