i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
