Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
