Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
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Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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